The Solution to sleep problems

So Kira had her 4 month checkup today and the doctor said he heard a heart murmor which freaked me out but he seemed ok and said he would listen again at 6 months and it's somewhat common for little ones so I will trust him for now. She has gotten taller thank goodness at her 2 month cheekup she was in the 5th percentille and now is in the 47th and 30th in weight. So growing right along.
I have been having issues with her sleep so that was one of my main concerns with this appt. I was looking for answers. At this point with Brooke and Sydney we had them on schedules and sleeping in a crib and through the night. Kira not so much. Every night is different. So I told the doctor about how she loves to be swaddled but fights her way out and then gets mad and how she wants a pacifier to go to sleep but can't keep it in her mouth and then wakes up mad that it's not there so his solution get rid of both. He said her problem is that she can't soothe herself and needs to learn how and that is what the pacifier and swaddling aren't doing. So I am so scared to get rid of things that I know works temporary but am willing to try anything for some sleep. I am even putting her down early now(8pm) (she was going down at 10pm) and tonight trying these things so wish me luck or just pray for me not to go crazy doing so.